The Cape
by cerasi1
Summary: Sirius' life, as all lives are, is made up of little moments. These are a few of the moments that shaped our beloved Sirius Black. Triptych moments, childhood, school, adulthood, all linked by a theme. Very poetic: especially the last.
1. The Cape

The Cape  
aka: And so he did.  
cerasi

The wind was fierce, but the light in Sirius' eyes was fiercer. He took a deep breath, his tiny chest expanding and then shrinking again as he let it out. His hair was a crazed mop around his face, blustering back and forth wherever the wind tossed it. He looked at his feet, too big for his little eight-year old body, and tapped them on the solid surface.

The tiles on the roof of the shed were a little loose, and one of them came out of it's place as Sirius started to run. His pillow-case cape flew out behind him as he picked up speed. He ran and ran, his smile growing with each pace he took. Finally, the end of the garage came and he leapt off, spreading his arms and putting all faith in his cape.

And, bless his heart, he headed for the ground.

* * *

Sirius watched Remus where he sat. The warm summer breeze was whirling around them, and the grass blew with their hair. Sirius looked from Remus to the tree they sat beneath. There was a huge branch that reached out well over the lake. Enormous, about half the size of the trunk itself.

"Do you love me?" Sirius asked.

"Of course, I do," Remus replied, busily munching on a sandwich and writing up a Herbology essay at the same time. Sirius stood up and wandered off.

"Where are you going?" Remus asked, looking up from his work and taking another bite of his sandwich. He brushed his brown hair out of his eyes, and looked up to see Sirius climbing the tree. As he climbed, Sirius unbuttoned his shirt and removed it. Remus choked on a bit of his sandwich.

"Sirius, what on earth are you doing?"

"Leap of faith, my friend," Sirius told him. He tied the shirt around his neck by the sleeves, so the rest of it fell down behind him. He stood at the very start of the branch, leaning back on the trunk and looking out to the lake.

He looked at Remus and grinned, and Remus saw a crazed look in his eyes. He dropped his quill and stood up, about to yell out to Sirius when the black-haired boy took off.

It turned out that the branch was shorter when you were running along it. He got to the end and hastily jumped for his life and dignity, and he hung there in the air for a moment.

'I did it,' he thought, before he plunged into the water.

* * *

Lily took Harry back inside, and James cleared up the table, shooing Remus away from helping.

"Don't be daft, mate," James said. He looked up to see Sirius climbing up onto the fence. "Keep an eye on him, will you?" James said, and he went inside with the plates.

"Sirius, will you please tell me what you are doing?" Remus called, watching Sirius with a bemused expression.

"Ever since I was small," Sirius yelled back, pausing as he climbed from the fence onto the roof. "I've been able to fly."

"With a broom, yes," Remus said, rolling his eyes.

"No, Remus. Just with a cape," Sirius said, and he held up his right arm, where he clutched one of Lily's tablecloths.

"She'll kill you, Sirius," Remus called.

Sirius grinned and stood up, carefully tying the tablecloth around his neck, securing it and taking a deep breath.

"You can't fly, Sirius!" Remus called, a little worried for his friend.

"I don't know that," Sirius said, smiling fondly at Remus.

He started off, running faster and faster, getting unnervingly close to the end of the roof. He grinned maniacally into the sun and the wind and he challenged the world. And when he reached the end of the rooftop he took one final breath, and a huge leap.

All these years the people said 'he's acting like a kid.'  
He did not know he could not fly, and so he did.


	2. RAB

R.A.B.

cerasi

"You're dead meat!" Regulus yelled, laughing wildly.

"Nuh-uh!" Sirius yelled back, running around the corner. He skidding in his socks along the floorboards, reaching out to the walls for support.

Regulus came screaming around the corner at a rate of knots, wand ready and eyes looking everywhere for his brother.

"Haha!" Sirius yelled as he jumped out from a doorway. He sent a jet of red sparks at Regulus who pretended to fall, shocked, to the ground.

"Oh, brother!" Regulus cried, rolling around on the ground, pretending to scream in agony. "Brother you have wounded me. I may not survive."

"No!" Sirius cried, playing along, rushing to his brother's side. He knelt down and reached out to take his brother's head in his hands. "What have I done?"

"Fool," said Regulus, and he leapt up, sending yellow sparks at Sirius before he took off down the hall.

"Traitor, evil traitor!" Sirius yelled. He laughed and took off after his brother. One year at Hogwarts, and he had missed his little brother so much. He just wished he could play like this all the time.

"Shut up, Gryffindor," Regulus hissed.

"You're just like the rest of them," Sirius muttered. "You're filthy like the rest of them, the whole bloody family."

"At least I don't hang around with scum like that James bloody Potter," Regulus snapped.

"No," Sirius said sarcastically, "your friends are much better. Back-stabbing, slimy gits the lot of them."

"Piss off," Regulus said, and he walked away.

Sirius heaved a deep breath and rolled his eyes.

"Bloody traitor."

"Regulus, no," Sirius pleaded, his eyes an image of sadness with a mix of anger.

"Sirius, I won't kill you this time, promise. But if I see you again, I will kill you," Regulus muttered, wary of the other wizards walking here and there in knockturn alley. He scratched the back of his neck, and his dark sleeve fell down just a little and Sirius gasped.

"Regulus, please. You don't have to do this. Fight with us," Sirius begged.

"Fight with you?" Regulus laughed. "It's a little too late for that. And I'm on the winning side as it is."

"You're much too smart to believe that," Sirius said, shaking his head.

"Much smarter than you, it would seem. Ah!" Regulus gasped, snatching his hand away from his neck and clutching his wrist. He looked at it and nodded, and looked at Sirius. For a moment, just a moment, there was a glimmer of real sadness in his eyes as he looked carefully at his brother.

"Don't go," Sirius pleaded.

"There's something I have to do," Regulus told him.

"Traitor," Sirius muttered angrily.

"Not after this," Regulus said, and he smiled, and he disappeared. Sirius never saw him again.


	3. All That She Meant To Him

All That She Meant To Him  
cerasi 

"Shh, darling," Walburga whispered, rocking her son back and forth. "Shh, sweet Sirius, go to sleep now."

She stood up and carefully lowered her infant son into his cradle, whispering to him and making soothing, cooing noises. She smiled as she stroked is hair, soft whisps of hair that darkened every day. Some part of her just wanted to sit and run her long fingers over his soft baby-cheeks all night, but she could see him slipping off to sleep, and so she pulled the blanket up about him, and went out of the room quietly, leaving the door slightly ajar so that she could hear if he woke up.

"Is he asleep?" Orion asked his wife when she came into their bedroom.

"Sound asleep," Walburga said with a smile. "Our perfect baby boy."

"Indeed, perfect," Orion said with a quick smile, and he pulled a book from his bedside table.

Walburga lay down in her bed and stared contentedly at the wall.

"Sirius," she whispered.

* * *

"Sirius!" Walberga yelled, "You're going to be late for school! It's bad enough that you're a Gryf-" she couldn't finish that foul word. "But to be late for only your second year of school as well! Get out of my house immediately!"

Sirius glared at her as he stalked past her to the front door. He looked longingly at the walls. If they would just paint this house in something other than black with black trimmings, and grey curtains (just to spice things up) he may well be less pleased with leaving it behind. As it stood, he sighed with relief as he stepped out into the sun.

Regulus glanced at Sirius, rolled his eyes and went back to staring off into space. He was, of course, immaculately dressed, and had everything packed and ready.

Orion frowned at Sirius' look of disrepair. The suitcase was barely held together, his shirt was hanging out (muggle clothes, at that) and his shoes were flattened at the back from where he had just slipped them onto his feet.

Sirius reached out his free arm, and Regulus did the same, each grabbing one of their father's hands, and they disappeared. Back to the train station, back to school. Away from his mother.

* * *

"Mr. Black," The old gentleman whispered, trying to keep both young men's attention while he sorted through the business

Sirius looked up and nodded, trying with great effort to keep his mind fixed on the reading.

"And, the young Mr. Black," The old man said, trying not to seem disrespectful to the youngest heirs to the Black fortune.

"Yes, of course," Regulus said softly. "Go on,"

"Very good," the old man said. He unfurled another wax-sealed document, the parchment finely grinding at itself. "Before your mother passed, she wrote her final will and sent it to me," he said, solemnly. "This will… removed Mr. Sirius Black from the inheritance, and bestowed the entire estate, everything she owned, upon young Mr. Regulus Black."

Sirius smiled bitterly. It came as no surprise, and yet he felt some measure of hurt as he heard those words. Had he truly been expecting his mother to leave him anything?

"Therefore, all that she owns passes to Mr. Regulus Black, and in the case that Mr. Regulus produces no heirs and passes away before Mr. Sirius, it will then pass to Mr. Sirius Black."

"Very good." Regulus said, solemn and yet somehow pleased with himself. He signed the parchment quickly and left the office quickly to go back home.

"Except, of course, for one thing," The old man said to Sirius once Regulus had gone. He removed his glasses, tapping the frame on the piece of paper while he watched the young man before him. "She left you this."

He reached down and produced a small, flat, velvet-covered box, which he handed to Sirius. Sirius frowned as he nudged the lid open with his thumbs.

Inside sat a carefully crafted brooch, the Black family crest. It had been presented to Sirius upon his birth, a family heirloom, to be passed to the first-born son of each generation. He nodded and thanked the gentleman, leaving the room swiftly and vowing never to look back.

Despite his 'strange notions regarding muggles' and his 'unfortunate placement in Gryf-' she had still, on some level, had some affection for him.

Despite himself, Sirius found a tear for his mother and all that she meant to him.


	4. Friend of Friends

Friend Of Friends 

cerasi

"Merlin, man, how old is that shirt?" James asked, staring incredulously at the young boy as he unpacked his clothing.

"It was my father's shirt," Sirius replied. "And what does it matter to you, Potter?"

"Nothing, Black." James said, responding in the same infantile manner as Sirius had used. He laughed.

"Stop that," Sirius warned.

"What are you going to do? Leash your family on me?" James said, raising an inquisitive eyebrow.

"Shut up."

"Listen, Black, who cares that you're not in Slytherin?" James said, approaching Sirius and trying to calm him down. He had done nothing but mope and mutter since the selection. He had even asked the hat for a retry. The other two boys, Remus and Peter, unpacked their own bags in near-silence, carefully listening and furtively watching what was happening.

"I care!" Sirius snapped.

"Really?" James asked, plonking himself down on the other boy's bed and disrupting the unpacking process. "I was kind of hoping that you wouldn't."

Sirius looked at the other boy, confused and angry, and so very, very tempted to snap his glasses in half.

"What on earth do you mean by that?" He asked.

"Well, I haven't heard great things about the Blacks," James went on. "Really, when you got put in Gryffindor, I was shocked. But… well, I was hoping that you might turn out different."

James shrugged and went back to his own unpacking, rather satisfied with the silence that followed. Sirius stood and stared at this cocky upstart for a minute, and then went on stacking clothes in drawers.

As he finished, he looked over to see James animatedly talking to the other two boys. Something in Sirius' heart kicked up a notch, and he smiled a little bit. He decided, perhaps against his better judgement, that he rather liked this Potter boy. A deep breath and five big strides later, and he joined in their talk.

Sirius' head snapped up when the door opened and in came James, take-away Chinese food in hand. Sirius looked back at the table and took another sip of his beer, listening to the sounds of James moving about the kitchen, finding plates and glasses, and pouring them each a decent glass of whiskey.

Then James sat down, pushed one of the glasses to Sirius, and started to unload the take-away onto plates, serving up inedible quantities of perfectly good food. After a minute, he pushed one of the plates over to Sirius and, still in silence, they began to dig in to their meals. Sirius sniffed and James looked mournfully at him, a sadness in his eyes that Sirius would have despaired at, had he looked up.

Together they ate, and ate. And when all the copious amounts of food had been devoured, the two of them shifted over to the couch, restocking their glasses and grabbing a couple of beers each.

On the couch, Sirius and James sat in silence. They both sipped in silence, and waited, perfectly silent. Until, at long last, Sirius spoke.

"Grimmauld Place is mine, now."

"Yeah," James said, nodding. "And some kind of huge inheritance."

Sirius nodded and swigged his beer.

"I'll bet your cousins aren't pleased," James said, a rather bleak smile trying hard to fix itself on his face.

"I think I've had at least four attempts on my life this week," Sirius said. "Though, I think they had fallen behind on trying to kill me, for a while there."

"Such a lax approach to your murder," James chuckled.

"Dismal, really," Sirius said.

There was, for a time, silence once more. Eventually Sirius spoke up again, much quieter than before.

"I miss him."

James nodded and put his beer down, taking Sirius in a huge hug. He had always felt that they were brothers, he and Sirius. Now, though, he learned the distinction between friends of their closeness, and the true sense of brotherhood.

Sirius glared at the wall, though the ferocity of the glare dissipated as the Dementor on the other side got closer and closer. Then it passed and Sirius hugged himself to rid the chill from his body. He shivered all over and his eyes fell to the floor, staring at the vague shapes made by the moonlight through the window. They all seemed to show James' face.

He had discerned, from the screams of the other prisoners, that he was a particularly hated prisoner, by the people who put him here. The cells with windows, it seemed, were reserved for those they hated most. In this room, Sirius could always see the moonlight, but he would never again have the freedom of seeing the moon.

But he would count the days and know when it was full. Know that outside, somewhere beyond those walls and that raging ocean, Remus would be changing all by himself. Changing and believing that his love had betrayed him, killed his friends and betrayed him.

And he would know that there was an infant child, his precious godson. His dear, dear Harry, alone in this world.

'You are his godfather,' James had said. 'If anything happens to me, you have to take care of him.'

Sirius shuddered, and bowed his head, closing his eyes.

I am innocent, he thought to himself.

"They burn me with their cold!" Some poor soul screamed into the night. Sirius suspected it was a woman, but he was gradually loosing grip on reality, so it could well be a man.

Or a child. The other day he could have sworn he heard a boy in here.

Sirius looked at the miserable flea-ridden blanket that lay strewn in the corner. So far he had not dared touch it. Something in the smell had deterred him from that. And yet each day he spent in this room, in this filthy, cold cell, encouraged him closer to seeking the slight warmth it might provide.

Not yet, he thought. He sighed and looked at the moon light on the ground. How long, he wondered, before it sends me mad, too?

And then it occurred to him. He thought of all the screams he had heard. Not one of them had pleaded innocence. Not one. They all begged for forgiveness, for mercy upon their souls, and for a second chance.

The moonlight would not send him mad, because he knew his innocence for certain. He knew, beyond all doubt, that he was not at fault.

Except, he thought, for James.

'Nothing is going to happen to you, James,' Sirius had told him. 'You have seen me at my worst, and I won't let you down. Promise.'

'Sirius, don't be a twat. Just swear to me that Harry will be alright.'

'Fine, I swear.'

Sirius sniffed and felt tears on his cheeks before he knew he was crying. He had not yet cried for James. He had cried for himself, and in anger at Peter. He had cried for Remus and for Lily, and little Harry. But this time, with certainty, Sirius knew that he cried for James. His friend of friends.


	5. Roses

Roses  
cerasi

Sirius stared emotionless at the coffin, the casket inside which his grandmother lay. His mother was sobbing beside him and his father stood solemnly with an arm around her shoulders.

The wind was soft and the old man read from an old book, old words made new by his voice.

His grandfather would have been crying too, had he been alive. Yet he was not. With the exception of her beloved birds, the old lady had lived out her final years in solitude. Had Sirius been older than six, he may well have felt sorry for her.

As it was, he did not understand, though he felt something… The tiny black-haired boy walked towards the coffin and reached out his arm. Some part of him knew what was happening, and knew that his grandmother was inside that horrid wooden box.

The gathered mourners watched the young boy, no longer listening to the droning funeral speech.

Little Sirius put his left hand on the coffin. It was cold wood. Dead trees, everything here was dead but the grass, and the mourners who would soon depart.

In his right hand he carried a rose, a dark red rose. He had heard his mother talking of her mother's strange choice of flowers. The rose was a symbol of love, and all this was death.

He put the rose carefully on the coffin, making sure it didn't slide off. His fingers trailed up the stem, over leaves, towards the bloom.

Carefully, ever so delicately, he stole away one of the petals, watching as the rest of them fell from their place. Just one missing, and they all fell apart.

The young boy pressed the petal in his palm and quietly walked away.

* * *

"Sirius," James called. Sirius looked up from his… well, his day dreaming to see James approaching, a grin on his face and a girl on each arm.

"James," Sirius said slowly, warning his friend with his eyes.

"I was just talking to these two lovely ladies inside and this one," he indicated to the girl on his left, "wished to meet the infamous Sirius Black."

"Infamous, hey?" Sirius asked, a little bored.

"So you two can stay here and chat," James went on. "And I'll take young Cailin here and show her that great thing we found last week."

Sirius smiled for James' sake, and the young girl sat down about a metre in front of Sirius. James wandered off, chatting cheerfully to the pretty, young brunette, as she laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed…

Sirius glanced at the girl. She watched her friend wander off with James Potter and wished she had gone too. Now there was nothing but awkwardness.

"What's your name?" Sirius asked. Truth be told, he was in no mood to be talking at that time. He had spent all day and last night arguing with Remus about stupid little things. Remus had gone ahead and finished an assignment they were meant to be doing together, then Sirius had made plans that relied on Remus, without consulting him. Remus had been spending lots of time in the library, while Sirius had been sneaking off to Honeydukes, and so on and so forth.

And now they weren't speaking.

"My name's Rose," the girl told him. "You're in sixth year, aren't you?"

"I am. What year are you in?" Sirius asked.

"Fourth year."

They both stared off over the grass. It was a warm summer night and nothing really could disturb them.

"You seem sad," Rose said quietly.

"I had a fight with a friend of mine," Sirius told her.

"Remus Lupin?" She asked.

Sirius looked at the girl, puzzled as to how (and why) she knew that.

"I saw you guys glaring at each other at breakfast this morning," She said.

"Oh."

"If you really love him, you should just apologise."

Sirius' head snapped up and he stared closely at the girl. She rolled her eyes at him and smiled.

"You think we don't know you're with him?" She asked with a grin.

"Who's 'we'?" Sirius asked sceptically.

"All the girls who have been in love with you from the day they first saw your smile," she said, and she laughed again at his shock, and partly at her own embarassment. "Did you fancy yourself the master of disguise? You're not exactly subtle about your love. And besides, we all think it's really sweet."

"You do?" Sirius asked.

"Yes," said Rose.

"But… James," Sirius stuttered. "I mean, you came out here… with the meeting, and the…"

"I told him I wanted to meet you, I didn't tell him I wanted to date you," she said with a smile.

"But you do, right?" Sirius said, all airs of cockiness returned within an instant.

"Of course," she acknowledged.

"That's alright then," said Sirius, and he stood up. "I'll go and talk to him, then."

"Very good," Rose said, and she smiled at the grass, a little sad.

Sirius grinned and knelt down in front of her, quickly grabbing her face and planting a huge kiss right on her mouth. He pulled back after a moment and winked his 'thank-you' before tearing off to the castle. Rose laughed, her face turning red, and she hid behind the tree with a smile.

* * *

Sirius came home one afternoon, apparating into the front yard of their little house in the country. The first thing he saw was a huddled figure, bent over the garden bed, and moving with all the motions of someone who was gardening.

He walked towards his dear, huddled Remus, casually observing all the goings on. It certainly was a nice view, from behind the bent-over Remus. Sirius grinned and whistled, and Remus snapped up from his work and glowered at Sirius.

"I'm pleased to see you home, but if I catch you looking at my arse one more time, I'll put you across my knee!" Remus threatened.

"Well, in that case, you'd better turn the other way. I've got some arse-watching to do," laughed Sirius, and he grabbed Remus's waist and gave him a kiss.

"Did you get much done today?" Remus asked, pulling off his gardening gloves so he could touch Sirius' hair.

"Practically nothing," Sirius said. He looked over Remus' shoulder to find out he had been doing.

"I didn't think you were a gardener," he observed.

"Did you think the garden took care of itself?"

"Well… yes. I did, actually," Sirius said, and he ducked a swat from Remus. "What have you been planting?"

"Roses," Remus told him. "Yellow ones, with red tips. They'll come up in the spring."

"I love you," Sirius said, amazed as ever, and he kissed Remus.


	6. Our James

Our James  
cerasi 

"He's so pretty. Just look at him! Oh, Merlin, he's hot," Lily said to her friends. They watched Sirius Black walk up the Great Hall, about to start his second week of schooling, and she giggled with the other girls when he flashed them a smile. They were all nothing but children, and yet their minds desired such grown-up things as kissing, and holding hands.

James walked alongside Sirius, their friendship still only days old, and rolled his eyes at the boy's antics.

Until, that is, he saw Lily Evans. He glared when she waved at Sirius, and when they left the Great Hall he scowled.

"What's wrong, Potter?" Sirius asked casually.

"Lily Evans," James muttered.

"Who?"

"The beautiful red-head," James told him.

"Oh, her," Sirius laughed. "Yeah, she is quite pretty."

"Quite pretty?" James repeated, scandalised, as they headed up some stairs towards their class.

"Yeah," Sirius shrugged. "She's not my type."

Sirius grinned when he saw Remus approaching, and headed over to greet him and Peter. The matter, as far as he was concerned, was settled.

James paused for a second, then grinned.

* * *

"Evans!" Sirius called.

"Shh," Lily hushed him. "This is a library, Black."

"Is it?" Sirius joked, looking around and pretending to be amazed by all the books. "So this is where Remus comes all the time."

"He just left, if you wanted to speak to him," Lily said. She began packing up her books and rolling up her various bits of parchment.

"No, actually," Sirius said, seriousness all over his features. "I wanted to speak to you."

"Well, hurry up, then. I have to go to bed and I can't say I'm particularly enthused about talking to Sirius Black, of all people, at this hour of night."

"Fine," Sirius said. "But you will listen, because I feel very strongly about this." And he demonstrated his point by folding his arms and furrowing his brow.

"What is it?" Lily said, resting her arms on her bag.

"Why do you have to be such a prat to James?" Sirius asked, rather loudly which disturbed the old librarian out of her stillness and she began bustling about, packing books up here and there.

Lily stared at him, silent and confused. Sirius decided to go on.

"You've never even given him a chance. You glare at him whenever he speaks to you, you ignore him the rest of the time, and you tease him about his hair. And no one, no one! Is allowed to tease him about his hair except me. So explain yourself. You've never even had a half-decent conversation with him, and yet you hate him. Why, Evans? Why?"

Lily sat very, very still, half hoping that she could back away slowly and he wouldn't notice. The other half was flabbergasted.

"I-" she paused. What on earth could she say? "He's mean," she said, hoping that would cover her.

"Mean?" Sirius repeated angrily. "If you're talking about dear Snivellus, then you had better get your facts straight. Do you know how many times James has been to the Hospital wing on account of that slimy little runt?"

Lily gasped.

"What?" Sirius asked. "I said runt."

"I… that doesn't excuse the kinds of things that you do to him."

"James saved his life, once. I'll bet you didn't know that."

Silence.

Sirius waited as Lily pondered. After nearly a full minute of this, Lily stood up and nodded.

"The library closes in a minute," she said quietly. "Can we go somewhere else?"

"Eh?" Sirius said, puzzled.

"I… I want you to tell me more about James."

* * *

"You know, Sirius, it is a wedding. Generally people don't mopearound at weddings."

Sirius smiled as Lily sat down beside him, still dressed in her beautiful bridal gown. She did look lovely, too. Her rich red hair was up where it needed to be, and down in other places, making her look even morestunning than she normally did. And that was no mean feat.

"Are you going to tell me, or am I going to have to work it out of you?" Lily asked, nudging Sirius' shoulder with her own. Sirius smiled and lifted his glass to his lips, but Lily stole it away before he even had a chance to sip it.

"Don't think I haven't been counting, Sirius Black," she warned.

"I hold my alcohol well," Sirius said, but one of his hands slipped and knocked over another bottle of drink on the table. Lily laughed and watched as the magically enchanted tables propped the bottle back up and made the liquid just disappear.

"I'll start prying, if you don't start giving me answers," she told him.

Sirius looked her in the eye and sighed.

"It's my James," Sirius admitted. Lily watched him for a moment, but it soon became apparent that he wasn't going to continue.

"What about him?" She asked gently.

"Well, he's not my James anymore," Sirius moaned. "He's your James, now."

Lily smiled and gave Sirius a hug, squishing his shoulders tightly. She leant her head against his and they both stared at the table where the wine had once been.

"You know, I was once scared thatJames could never be my James," she said. "Because he was your James. He was Peter's James, and he was Remus' James, but mostly he was your James. And now I know that he never will be my James. Do you know why?"

Sirius shook his head and gave a little cough.

"Because he's our James."

Sirius pulled back and looked Lily carefully in the eye.

"Our James?" he said softly. "Really?"

"Yes, our James," Lily replied. "Now, as the bride, I think I'm entitled to a dance with the best man. What do you say?"

Sirius grinned and stood up. It was amazing how undrunk he could seem when he was truly smashed. With all the coordination in the world, he lifted Lily up and carried her to the dance floor. The two of them danced happily for at least three songs, unaware that James, watching from the side, was grinning like crazy.


	7. Beauty

Beauty  
cerasi

"You're such a beautiful boy, aren't you?" the old woman said, squishing and pinching Sirius' cheek, shaking his face back and forth. It hurt and yet he stood it. "Such a handsome boy, and almost ready for school, too! School next year, big boy."

She was aunty Mireille. Not a real aunt, of course. She was one of those people who has known the family for so long that they become family. The type who speaks to the parents, or writes to them once in a while, but only ever sees the children on rare occasions, and so each time they would go through the act. 'How are you?' 'My how you've grown!' 'What have you been up to?' Later, when Sirius was living with James, Regulus would also receive the 'How is school going?' and 'What subjects are you doing?' and on occasions such as those he would feel so very, very jealous of Sirius.

"Are you looking forward to school?" Aunty Mireille asked, patting Sirius on the head and giving him another kiss. Sirius nodded, a little dazed from all this. His mother laughed and sent him off to play. Sirius ran out of the room, thoroughly relieved, and he could still hear his aunt's voice trailing after him.

"He's such a beautiful boy, that Sirius."

* * *

Sirius and Remus lay back, dazed smiles on both their faces. Sirius looked over at Remus and grinned cheekily.

"Was it good for you?" Sirius asked. Remus laughed at the goofy smile on Sirius' face, but he nodded just the same. Yes, he thought, by all the gods in the world, yes it was.

Sirius closed his eyes contentedly and lay his hands on his chest. Remus watched him carefully and was ever so tempted to jump on him again. When he had initially jumped on Sirius this afternoon, after returning from classes, it was just a playful tackle. But Sirius, oh, Sirius! He had entirely different ideas of what they should do. And my, was Remus grateful.

Remus let his eyes wander. He was constantly amazed at how fit Sirius was, just from running around doing pranks, and playing Quidditch with James. Somehow it was enough to tone him to perfection.

And then there was that face. He seemed to have acquired all the perfect features from his ancestors, and they had then blended perfectly within his face. Remus smiled fondly when Sirius, eyes still closed, started blowing pieces of his hair off his own face. Remus reached over and stroked them away tenderly and Sirius opened his eyes to look at Remus.

"You are amazingly beautiful," said Remus

Sirius smiled and kissed Remus' hand as it glided over his face.

* * *

Sirius stared hard.

For the first time in his life he stared at a mirror and he hated it. There had been one other time, but he had hated himself then, for what he had done to his beloved friend. This time he hated what he saw.

The moonlight had started it.

Sirius had got up in the middle of the night, nature calls. He had got up carefully, slowly and carefully, so that Remus wouldn't wake up. He didn't want to wake Remus. Then he had walked to the bathroom and he glanced at his reflection in the bathroom mirror and suddenly all thought of bodily-functions was gone. He stopped, and he stood there, staring into the mirror.

Perhaps it was the moonlight, Sirius had thought. He had switched on the light above the mirror and he had gasped, almost cried, but he continued to stare. He had climbed up to sit on the bench that surrounded the sink, and he kept staring. He still sat there, now, after a full ten minutes of staring.

He switched the light off again.

No, he thought. Not the moonlight.

He switched the light on again.

Sirius stared at the mirror and put his finger on it, tracing all the places where the years had taken their toll.

For twelve years he had been in Azkaban. Twelve vital years. And this was the first time since his return that he had really looked at a mirror.

Lines everywhere. Lines in the corner of his eyes, downward strikes that spoke of anguish. Around his mouth, they showed the times he had screamed, the times he had frowned, the times he had cried. Between his eyebrows, vertical lines that showed, not thought, but anger and torment.

And his eyebrows! They were greying. There were grey hairs in each of them, and in his hair. Sirius was suddenly short of breath, and he ran his hands under the tap, wetting his hair to make it darker. But it wouldn't go! All the black hairs got darker but the silver ones around his temples stayed silver, only now they shone in the light.

Sirius turned the tap off quickly. He didn't want Remus to wake up.

Remus.

He knew what Sirius looked like. Sirius gasped.

There was a knock at the door.

"Sirius?" Remus called softly.

Sirius didn't reply.

"Are you in there?" Remus called. He could see the light coming under the door.

"Don't come in," said Sirius fearfully. Still, he knew better. He switched off the light and turned his back to the window, thrusting his face into darkness.

Remus opened the door and crept in, staring at Sirius' huddled form on the bench top.

"What are you doing, Sirius?" Remus said quietly.

"Go back to bed."

"Sirius," Remus pleaded.

Sirius swallowed and flicked on the light above the mirror. He turned to face Remus, fear in his every move.

"You don't love me any more, do you?" Sirius asked. Remus stared at him, utterly confused, and waited for Sirius to continue. "You were always telling me how beautiful I was. Everybody did. I was beautiful."

"Sirius-"

"And now I'm not," Sirius said with a little anger. "Look at me!"

He jumped off the bench and went to stand in front of Remus, grabbing him by the shoulders and staring at him.

"Sirius, will you just settle for a moment?" Remus said calmly.

"Do you love me?"

"Of course I bloody love you," Remus snapped. "I always have and I always bloody will."

"Look at these lines, Moony," Sirius turned them around so that the light was on his face.

"Sirius," Remus said warningly. He turned them back so the light was on his face. "We all have scars."

Sirius was silent. He stared at Remus' face, and he was right, there were scars there. And yet it was so much a part of Remus that he hardly noticed any more. And there were lines, little wrinkles on his face. Granted, not so many as Sirius had, but they were there.

"It's part of you," Remus said quietly.

Sirius breathed deeply, still staring fascinated at the scars on Remus' face. He kissed them, one by one, and he vowed to kiss all the ones that were everywhere else, when they had some time.

"Come on," Remus whispered, their faces so close together. "Let's go back to bed." Sirius nodded and he went to switch off the light, while Remus stepped out the door to wait for him.

Sirius reached up to the light switch beside the mirror and paused as he heard Remus speaking from the dimly lit area beyond the door.

"And, Sirius," he paused. "You are beautiful."


	8. True Gryffindor, True Courage

True Gryffindor, True Courage  
cerasi

"Well, I'm off. I'm going to go explore the east wing, see what I can't dig up."

"Oh," said Peter. "I'll go with you."

Sirius rolled his eyes and sighed. Here we go again. He watched as James casually sauntered out of the dorm rooms and Peter leapt up to follow him. Peter always bloody followed him. Sirius was left alone with his homework, a task he was sure would end up waiting until the night before it was due.

'And you still get top bloody marks,' Remus would always say. Remus was in the library at the moment. He was undoubtedly the most intelligent of them all, and committed to the study. James was the brightest, Sirius was the cleverest, Remus was the smartest, and Peter…

Sirius looked up and glared at the door. Peter was, of course, gone, but Sirius didn't have to stop glaring.

He had only known the other boys for nearly four months. Later on Sirius would warm to Peter, come to understand his ways. At this point in time, however, Sirius did not know this and could not possibly imagine it. At this point in time, while he didn't hate Peter as such, he still disliked him quite intensely.

How on earth, Sirius tended to think, could somebody like James actually tolerate somebody like Peter? How did James put up with the constant pathetic attachment?

Nevertheless, Sirius tried to accept the fact that James was very, very Gryffindor. And that's what we Gryffindors are like.

* * *

James had spread himself out comfortably on the grass, while Remus' head rested on Sirius' lap and Sirius' arm fell across the other boy's shoulders. Peter still sat up, day dreaming as he stared off into the stars.

The Quidditch pitch always seemed so much smaller from the stands. When one actually sat in the middle of it, staring about as the sun went down and then well into the night, one came to appreciate the vastness of it.

Sirius and Peter were the only two left awake, now. It was nearly midnight and James had been playing Quidditch all day, while the rest of them watched. Remus had been up all the previous night studying, then cheering all day, so Sirius forgave him his sleepiness. And on a warm summer night like this, with blankets just for comfort, they had all felt a bit drowsy.

Peter coughed a little and Sirius' eyes went straight to the sound.

"You alright, Wormtail?" Sirius asked. Peter coughed a little more and nodded.

"I think a bug flew into my throat," Peter explained. They paused, looked at each other, and then laughed.

"A bug?" Sirius said, still laughing.

"Yeah," Peter said. "Only me, eh?"

"Definitely," Sirius said, and he smiled. "Only you. Still, Pete, you really should have fought the bug for control of your throat. He was definitely trying to take over."

"Oh, I did fight him," Peter grinned. "That's what all the coughing was for."

"Ah, I see… and was he duly thwarted?"

"Of course!" Peter laughed. "I wouldn't be areal Gryffindor if I couldn't fight the evil insect."

* * *

"Damn you, Wormtail. Damn you! How dare you do this to them?"

Sirius screamed everything he said, holding his wand dead-set at Peter's heart.

"You don't understand, Black," Peter roared back. "For the first time in our lives, I understand and you don't."

"Oh, Merlin, Peter, What is there to understand?" Sirius said. Tears welled up and choked him. "You killed them. You killed the two finest people in the world. They were good, Peter. They were good beyond your understanding."

"And yet they couldn't stand up to Him," Peter sneered.

"Him?" Sirius laughed. "He is gone, Wormtail, just like he was always going to. We knew from the start that we would triumph, and yet you betrayed them. How will you live with yourself?"

"How will you?" Peter snapped back. "It was you who convinced James to switch to me for Secret Keeper. You doomed them, then and there."

Sirius stared at Peter, wide eyed and thinking hard.

"You…" Sirius paused. He couldn't have. "You were already his?"

"And none of you even knew it. None of you tried to know it."

"That's because we trusted you! You were our friend."

"A true friend would have helped me!"

Sirius stopped again. He stared and breathed. Perhaps Peter was right. Perhaps they should have helped him, and perhaps it was Sirius' fault. Perhaps James and Lily-

"No!" Sirius roared in all defiance. Just as he did, the street exploded before his eyes and Sirius was thrown back where he landed hard on the concrete footpath. He sat there and he stared at the street, and he watched a tiny little rat run into the sewers. Hiding from the trouble, not willing to stand up and fight. He was never, never a true Gryffindor.


	9. Of Words and Laughter

Of Words and Laughter  
cerasi 

Sirius laughed and he laughed and he watched and he laughed. Regulus stood up indignantly, only to fall down once more. The dark brown mud sloshed around underneath them, but Sirius had grasped the fence while Regulus still struggled, slipping and falling on his bottom each time.

"Argh!" Regulus yelled when he fell again. It wasn't that it hurt, small boys of his age rarely notice pain, but he was getting angrier by the second at the way Sirius laughed at him. "Shut up!" He yelled, and he made for another attempt at standing.

"The funniest," Sirius laughed, struggling for breath "thing that I've…" he laughed again. "ever seen!"

Regulus yelped as he slipped over backwards and landed flat on his back, legs poking in the air and mud squirting out all round him. He paused for a second, and Sirius muffled his laughter so that for a moment it was quiet. Then Regulus looked up at Sirius, and Sirius raised his eyebrows at Regulus, and then they both laughed, Sirius leaping into the mud to roll around with his brother.

* * *

"Sirius!" James yelled as he bolted up the stairs. "Sirius!"

"Oi," one indignant third year yelled, but James ignored him and tore past three more people on his way up to the dorm.

"Damn it, Sirius!" James yelled, and he ploughed through the slightly ajar door, tripped over a sitting Remus and went tumbling into the dorm. Peter and Sirius watched from their beds while Remus tried to put his head back in place.

James stared at the ceiling for a minute, his breathing heavy and his heart a-pounding.

"I could hear you a bloody mile off, Prongs," Sirius chuckled. "What on earth is it?"

"It's…" panted James. "It's this."

He put his hand up into the air triumphantly, and they all peered at what appeared to be a small, red, leather-bound book. It was scuffed on the corners, and there was a tie that held it closed. From the looks of things, it was a very old book.

"What is it?" Peter asked, hopping up from his bed to get a closer look.

"I just-" James began, sitting up and gradually regaining his breath. "I just stole it from Snivellus."

The other three boys suddenly crowded around, much more eager to learn what this mystery book was, now that they knew its origins.

"Well?" Sirius asked. "What the bloody hell is it?"

"His diary," James said, a mischievous grin on his face.

"Haha!" Sirius whooped. He jumped up in the air, and pulled James up as well, and the two of them began the Marauder's Victory Dance. Remus and Peter leapt up to join in, and the four of them Victory-Danced their way around the room.

"Prongs," Sirius said, as he started giggling. "You're a bloody genius."

The four of them sat down to read the diary, and the laughter just kept on flowing.

* * *

"I, uh…" Sirius began. Then he stopped. He just plainly didn't know what to say. He stood there, at the doorstep of Remus' house and he watched the other man across the threshold.

Remus took a deep breath, still silent and with no idea of what to say. The two of them just watched each other for a while, and lazy clouds drifted across the sky, occasionally dimming the light on the sun and then moving on. Sirius swallowed and shuffled his foot.

"I was hoping that I, uh," he paused. "Well, Dumbledore mentioned that perhaps…" he paused again.

"He sent me a letter to say that you'd be coming."

Sirius looked up at Remus and tried to watch his reaction. Remus was still as unchanged as the moment he had arrived. Sirius could learn nothing of the man's emotions at the moment.

"Uh, well," Sirius started again. "May I?"

"Stay here?" Remus clarified.

"Well, uhm… yes."

Remus paused for a second, and then his eyes shone with laughter.

"Of course you can bloody stay here, Padfoot!" Remus said, pulling his old friend in for a hug. They embraced for a moment and then Remus pulled back, still grinning. "I don't think I've ever seen you so pressed for words."

Sirius grinned and chucked.

"True," he said, and they went inside smiling.


	10. Worlds Away

Worlds Away  
cerasi

Sirius had snuck quietly into his father's study, and had sat there, waiting patiently for something to happen, for nearly three hours.

At firstOrion had been working. He had written four letters of business and two to family. He had finished writing up an important document that he wouldneed for work on Monday, and he had read through three files from the Ministry,which he had been sent today. That was a lot of work to do in under three hours.

And the whole time, Sirius had simply sat and watched and waited. He had never thought to do this before, but today it had seemed appropriate. Downstairs his mother was raging, having just been reminded (by an owl from James) that her son was a filthy Grf… she still couldn't say it.

So Sirius had left the living room and wandered upstairs, silently opening and closing the door to his father's study, and perching himself on the armchair in the corner.

Now his father sat there, silent as the water of a lake on a calm day.

Orion'sface was lit from the front, though he faced away from Sirius and out the window, so Sirius saw mostly a silhouette of his father's head. What he could see was a mind that was troubled, and not at all present in this reality. He had stumbled upon a problem, and now he would sit very still for a while and carefully, slowly think it all out.

* * *

"How long do you think he'll stay like that?" James whispered. 

"Could be there for hours," Peter replied.

Sirius was silent as he listened to them, and they all watched a day-dreaming Remus. James soon grew bored and he and Peter wandered off, up the stairs. Sirius stayed there, on the floor of the common room, with all his focus on the other boy.

How much they had grown in five years, he thought. How much they all had changed. It had been but a week since they had told Remus about their newly acquired animagus forms, and Remus had been nothing short of thrilled, even as the full moon grew closer by the day.

So Sirius sat, and he watched. All their homework had been done, and nobody had anything to worry about.

And Remus stared off, a little smile on his lips, and his head tilted to the side. Sirius could just aboutcount the dreams in his eyes.

* * *

"I'll just be in the other room, Sirius," James said. "I have to talk to Lily about something, so can you take care of Harry for a minute?" 

Sirius made some kind of noise, and nodded absent-mindedly. James smiled and went into the kitchen.

Sirius sat cross-legged on the floor. Harry was still such a tiny thing, barelyfour months old, and Sirius could not stop marvelling at him. As he watched the baby boy, his godson, roll around on the carpet he smiled.

"I'm Sirius, Harry," he whispered, tickling Harry's belly and tapping his nose lightly. "I'm your godfather and I will always, always be here for you."

Harry gave a gurgling laugh, and Sirius felt a slight tear in his eyes. He smiled as his mind skipped off down the years, planning their future together. It would be marvellous.


	11. Worlds Apart

Worlds Apart  
cerasi

The old woman glared at Sirius, and Sirius ducked his head as he hid behind his mother's skirt.

"He's a bit of a trouble maker, isn't he?" The old woman remarked snidely.

"Not at all,"Walburga said. She gave the woman her tea and sat down on the couch with her own, allowing a tiny Sirius to crawlunder herknees,safebetween her legs and the couch.

"Horrid, horrid little things, children," the woman grumbled.

Had the woman not been hideously rich and influential,Walburga might well have argued the matter, as often she did. As it was, she smiled politely and glared into her teacup and at the womanwhen the woman wasn't looking.

Sirius saw Regulus poke his head around the door and so he ran over to his brother and they both made to run up the stairs.

"Such noisy things!" The woman snapped as the boys laughed and stomped their tiny feet about. Sirius poked his tongue out at her before tearing up the stairs, and the woman hissed. She was so old and horrid that she had forgotten the pure magic of being a child.

* * *

Sirius was alone when he went into the bathroom. His class was dull and he was tired and so he had decided to take a break before he fell asleep. As he walked in another student walked out and for a moment Sirius didn't recognise him. Then his hand went for his wand. 

Severus frowned and glared at Sirius as he passed by, but he seemed to lack the will to argue at the moment, and Sirius could see a teacher approaching in the distance, so they both decided to let it go.

As Severus passed, Sirius couldn't help but notice his puffy eyes, turned red and looking sore. He couldn't help but notice the slightly glassy look in Severus' eyes, and the red-tinged cheeks. Severus had been crying.

For a moment, Sirius was tempted to tease the other boy, but he watched him go and he was silent and all the while Sirius couldn't help but wonder why. What had Snivellus to cry about?

Sirius ignored that question before he had to answer it, and he went into the bathroom. Sirius had his world, and Snivellus had his, and they must, at all times, remain separate.

* * *

Sirius was cold, ever so cold. He had been cold for nearly twelve years, though, and would remain cold as long as he was here. 

He looked again at that picture.

There were all the Weasleys, a family Sirius knew only by reputation. And then there was that little rat. It kept scurrying from one of the boy's shoulders to the other and then back again, and each time it appeared Sirius counted its toes.

Damn him, he thought. He was over there, the pet rat of Harry's best friend (from what he gathered from the article) and Sirius was all the way over here, stuck in some godforsaken cell in a prison from which there was no escape. This was a place for the guilty, and he was innocent, and there were Dementors just outside who would always sense his presence either way.

Sirius was well aware that it was a different world out there. One in which he had no friends until he proved himself worthy. He had no James, and no Lily. Peter was no doubt preparing his attack on Harry, and Sirius would have none of it. Even if it meant entering a world in which Remus, his beloved Remus, thought he was the murderer of their closest friends. It was not a welcoming world, but nor was this one.

"I'm damned if I stay here," Sirius muttered. "And so is Harry."

He crouched down and turned into a big, black shaggy dog. It was time, he felt, for him to change worlds.


	12. Wolf

Wolf  
cerasi

Sirius' throat was dry. He took another careful step along the tunnel. He was scared of very few things, but this was certainly one of them.

"_It's always the full moon," James whispered. He glanced to see if the teacher was watching, and then ducked his head back down. Peter and Sirius sat either side of him, and Remus was nowhere to be seen._

"_But he can't be… I mean," Peter shook his head. "Werewolves are beasts! And Remus, he's just so…"_

"_Timid, quiet, unobtrusive… and secretive," James listed._

_Sirius swallowed and stared at the table. James was right, he knew he was right. But that didn't change this. It was their Remus after all._

"_I'll follow him," Sirius said._

"_Are you mad?" Peter whispered._

"_He's Remus," Sirius said. "Even if he is… you know, he's still our Remus."_

The tunnel was long and low and Sirius shifted down it as quietly as possible. He had already done as much as possible. He had taken a potion that would take away all the smells his body naturally produced, so with any luck the wolf wouldn't know he was there. Unless he made a noise.

As he neared the end of the tunnel, he stopped. He had watched Remus enter here under the tree, so he was definitely down here. The night was still quite young, though.

And then he heard a frightful howl. It pitched itself high in the air, and shattered down through Sirius' ears. The howl was the wolf, and yet he now knew that the howl was also their Remus.

* * *

"You're an idiot!" James yelled. Thank Merlin for the sound-proofed dorm rooms, thick stone walls and hardwood doors.

Sirius was breathing heavily, his knees drawn up to his chest and his arms wrapped around them. He was rocking slightly, back and forth, and staring at the carpet. He couldn't think, he couldn't talk, he could barely move. His whole body just shook.

Peter sat on the other bed and watched the two of them disbelievingly. His eyes were wide, and they kept darting out to the full moon outside, as if checking to see if it all real. How could things have gone so wrong?

"You're a fucking idiot! You could have got somebody killed," James went on, pacing and screaming at his friend. "We all hate Snape, but that doesn't mean he deserves to die! So he cut you up something ugly with that stupid spell, you didn't scar! And they fixed you up pretty and you went back to life as normal, but now… Merlin, Sirius, now!"

He shook his head and took a deep breath. He watched Sirius where he sat on his bed, and suddenly James was quiet as he spoke, though his fists were clenched.

"Remus," he said. "Think of Remus, for just one moment. Stop thinking about yourself, stop thinking about your own revenge. Snape knows. Snape bloody well knows, now. Remus could only just trust us with that secret, and you go off showing it to the bloody world!" He shook his head angrily again, his eyes wild and his muscles taut. "Merlin, Sirius. What have you done?"

* * *

Sirius watched Remus gulp down the foul potion. Remus smiled at him, and Sirius smiled back, though they both knew there was nothing to smile about.

"I love you," Sirius said, kissing Remus quickly. Remus turned and drew back the curtains. They both stared out at the enormous full moon and their minds wandered.

Soon enough, Remus gasped and doubled over. Sirius stepped back, knowing his place, though he so dearly wanted to hold his friend tight. He watched in horror as Remus' bones were broken and reset, and his muscles snapped and reformed, and his whole form changed before Sirius' very eyes, until there stood before him a huge wolf, panting heavily and head drooped towards the floor.

Sirius watched as Remus' wolf form swayed on its feet and then collapsed on the ground. Sirius quickly turned himself into a huge black dog, and licked Remus' ear fondly. He nuzzled Remus' head and curled up beside him, resting his head on Remus' flank. They slept.


	13. Leaving Home

Leaving Home  
cerasi

Sirius sat patiently in his compartment on the train, no expression on his face. One would never know it, but by Merlin, he was nervous! He kept taking deep breaths and glancing to see if the door was being opened, even though he knew it wasn't. Once or twice he saw older students walk past, and he thought he saw a few students his age go past as well, but nobody seemed to want to come into his place.

And he couldn't rightly say he thought that was a bad thing.

"Hello," somebody said rather loudly. Strange: the moment he wasn't looking at the door, someone came and opened it. A watched pot…

Sirius looked up and nodded. The boy was his age, he suspected, and had black hair and glasses. Sirius nearly rolled his eyes at the other boy's state of disrepair. His (muggle!) clothes were scruffy, his glasses were askew and hadn't been fixed because he was lugging a huge, unwieldy suitcase. And his hair! Merlin, his hair. It didn't bare contemplating. Sirius nodded his greeting and looked back out the window.

Of all the people who chose to enter my compartment, he thought, I had to get this one.

"I'm James, by the way," the other boy said, sitting down across from Sirius. Sirius sighed. Damn, if this person wasn't persistent.

When Sirius looked up, he saw James smiling and holding his hand out, and there was something in his eyes that Sirius couldn't help but like.

"Sirius Black," Sirius said, shaking the other boy's hand as he had always been taught to do.

"Orion Black's son?" James asked.

"Yes," Sirius said. "What's it to you?"

"Nothing," James said. "Just wondering."

They both stared out the window for a minute, watching students all hurrying past and parents waving goodbye. The silence was limited, because of the noise beyond the door and window, but the silence between them was quite a heavy one.

"Is this your first time?" James asked.

"First time what?"

"First time leaving home," James clarified.

"Oh," Sirius paused, thoughtful. "Yes, it is."

* * *

Sirius ducked as a huge vase was thrown and smashed against the wall. He picked up another couple of things, throwing them into his trunk and ran to the next room, ignoring his mother's wild screams.

"And he's not even a pureblood!" she cried. "Your friend is not even a pureblood! Filthy, filthy halfblood!"

Sirius swallowed his pride and chose to pack more things hurriedly, rather than come to James' defence in this. He grabbed some school books off the top of the desk in the study, tossing them in and then running back into the hall.

"Argh!" Walburga screeched, and Sirius ducked a hex as it whizzed past his ear. He smelt his singed hair and cringed.

"What do you even care?" Sirius yelled at his mother as he ducked into his own bedroom. Last lot of stuff and he was gone. "You never have to see me again! Your loathsome Gryffindor son."

He wanted to smile at the howl of rage that she let out, but he just couldn't do it. Solemnly, but quickly, he grabbed the last few items of clothing that he had and packed them in, shrinking his suitcase at last and grabbing his broom. He ran out the door and down the stairs, listening to the ominous footsteps of his mother chasing him down to the front door.

"You are never to step foot in this house again," she cried.

"And I never bloody will," Sirius screamed back, wrenching the front door open and gulping in the fresh air. He tossed on James' borrowed invisibility cloak and jumped on his broom, hooking the miniaturised suitcase over the handle.

He kicked off the ground and flew up into the air, glancing back once at the house to see his mother stomping and screaming on the front doorstep. And up in his brother's bedroom window he saw one tiny solitary figure, shoulders slumped and face obscured by the sunlight glaring on the glass.

Goodbye, he thought. And he was gone.

* * *

"You got everything?" James asked, looking over all Sirius' carefully packed bags and trunks and boxes of things.

"I think I do," Sirius said. They both stood there, hands in pockets, contemplating the spread of things. James reached up and scratched his chin, and Sirius ran a hand over the back of his neck, glancing over at his friend.

"Well, I think I should probably be off, then," Sirius said.

"Yeah. I suppose Remus'll be waiting for you," James said, nudging one of the boxes with his foot.

"Yeah," Sirius agreed, shoving his hair back out of his face. He breathed out a deep breath through his nose and chewed on his lip a bit.

"Mum says you have to visit," James told him. "Though I don't reckon I'll be here for too long, but still. She says you have to come and have dinner and the like."

"Of course," Sirius said. He looked up at his friend and they both gave that horrid little half-smile that people do. It's the flat-lipped 'I guess this is it' smile, and for a moment they both took it seriously. Then they smiled for real, and then they laughed.

"I'm going to miss you, mate," James said, roughly embracing his friend. Sirius laughed.

"I'm not going all that far," he said. "And you can visit any time."

"Yeah, I know," James said as they pulled back from the hug. "I guess you'd better be off, then. You're a big boy, now. Time you left home and made it on your own," James said, laughing.

"Yeah, mate," Sirius said, grinning. "I'll see you soon."


	14. Leaving Houses

Leaving Houses  
cerasi

Sirius changed into his dog form and squished his way through the bars. As a dog, he was normally huge, but he had eaten so little for so long that it was barely a squeeze at all. He just turned his head to the side and pushed his way through and he was out.

He glanced back at the cell and shook from head to tail, ridding himself of it as much as possible, then he looked up and down the corridor, chose up, and started trotting.

He could feel his legs aching, but he ignored them just as he ignored all the people in the other cells. Each of them looked out of the cells and saw a huge beast go past, but not one of them saw a big black dog; they all saw the Grim.

Sirius ignored their pained howls of terror, and pleas with fate. He ignored them and pressed forward. At the end of the corridor he ducked quickly as a Dementor glided past him. The creature barely even noticed him there, his dog consciousness being so much diminished from his normal self. Sirius shook from the cold, but he pressed on, winding here and there, always choosing the path that smelt the freshest of sea air.

At last he found the door out, and he snuck quickly through it to the stormy outside. He looked out at the foreboding sea, but he knew he only had to go so far before the wards evaporated and he could apparate back home.

Or somewhere that resembled home. Twelve years didn't make a prison a home, but there was nothing else in the world, at that time, that came any closer to being one.

* * *

Sirius grinned as he levitated Snape before him. He grinned as he followed Harry along the dark tunnel, with Harry smiling each time Snape's head bumped against the ceiling. He grinned as he watched the traitorous Pettigrew being lead along by his beloved Remus, and he grinned in the knowledge that it would all be alright.

He glanced back at the shack, all its creaking floorboards and steps and doors and walls. It had all been so familiar to him for so long, and now it was the end of all that. When, at last, they stepped out into the fresh air above, Sirius breathed it and breathed it deep. He set Snape down on the ground, and stepped further away from the tree to look out over the grounds. He saw Harry, from the corner of his eye, step up beside him.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" He said. Harry murmured something and Sirius watched him, his mind all alive with images of James in the school uniform, James distracted by devious plots, or by thoughts of Lily, just murmuring all his responses, mumbling 'yes' or 'no' or 'whatever you say, Padfoot'.

Sirius glanced back at the tree, and then out into the distance where he knew the Shrieking shack stood.

"Leaving home," he whispered to himself, and smiled at the absurdity of it all.

* * *

Sirius was the first to dash out of the house, absent-mindedly throwing his coat on over his robes. He didn't even feel the cold as the wind whipped past them, tossing his hair about his face as he glanced back to see that he was being followed.

"We have to hurry," he called. "Harry's in trouble, come on, now. Quickly."

He knew they did not want him going, but he was damned if he was going to stay cooped up in that house for one more hour, especially when he knew Harry was in danger. He trotted up the road, waiting for the apparition wards to wear off and then he turned back once more. They all started apparating, Tonks first, disappearing off to the Ministry.

Sirius took one last look at the house as it disappeared, squished between the houses either side of it. And a house is all that it really was. It was no home to him, it hadn't been his home for a very long time. He glared contemptuously at it. If he could persuade Dumbledore later this evening, after they had rescued Harry from the Deatheaters, he would very much like it if he never went back into that house again.

This in mind, Sirius grinned wickedly and disappeared, a cracking noise being all that was left in his wake.


	15. Deatheaters

Deatheaters  
cerasi

Sirius and James peered around the corner, and they growled at what they saw.

There must have been about eight of them, the worst Slytherins the school had ever seen, and they were all here, the fringes of the Forbidden Forest, laughing away and pointing their wands into the centre of the circle they had created.

Jinxes and hexes and curses flew everywhere, and each time one hit home, Sirius and James heard a hideous shriek, tiny and high-pitched, and distinctly in pain. They climbed up into the tree nearest them, still with the invisibility cloak covering them. They made their way out on the thick branch over the small group.

In the middle of the circle was a mass of tiny vermin. There were rats and mice and rabbits, and even a pigeon or two, unable to fly or escape because their wings were broken. A little wall ran around the edges of the circle, and the Slytherins stood outside it, firing curses in and torturing the poor creatures.

Behind him, Sirius heard James dry-wretch, and he put a hand on James' hand as they both clung to the tree, to comfort him a little.

"I think it's time for our latest creation," Sirius said, and he heard James murmur a 'yes'.

They both pulled out their wands and pointed them down, each at a separate animal within the circle. Together they started a long chant, complex words from an ancient tongue slowly emitting from their mouths. No path appeared between the wands and the animals, but slowly the magic began to show. The animals swelled in size, growing and growing and growing. Once Sirius had a mouse to the size of a dog, he worked on a rabbit. James had repaired a pigeon's wings and now the pigeon was easily the size of a horse, so he switched to bring a rat to the same size.

The Slytherins were crying out, many of them running away from the circle until only a couple of them stood there, still firing curses at the huge beasts. Sirius and James recognised one of them as Lucius Malfoy, an older boy with a malicious attitude towards everything. Sirius grinned as he sent a silent spell at Lucius' hair that turned it bright orange. The cruel young man didn't even notice and he continued to fire curses at the small animals.

"Lucius, let's go," another one of the boys said. Lucius shook off the hand that had been placed on his shoulder. Four other Slytherins gathered behind Lucius to watch as he single-handedly cursed every huge animal that came their way. His voice was getting worried, and his curses erratic. His companions all watched fearfully as his eyes turned wilder and his face more feral than anyone had ever seen. At last, his voice hit its highest pitch so far, and with considerable effort he forced out a spell that stopped everything still.

"Avada Kedavra!" Lucius cried.

The last, largest animal stopped and dropped dead, while the others quickly returned to their original size and scampered off. The Slytherins standing behind Lucius looked at him and at each other, one or two of them swallowing while the others searched for words.

Above, in the branches, Sirius and James stared silently at the enormous dead rabbit. Some time later, after the Slytherins had dragged Lucius away, Sirius and James climbed down from the tree and over to the body of the rabbit. This, in the mind of Sirius, would ever mark their true loss of innocence.

* * *

Sirius ran down the halls, stunning everything he saw move. James ran closely behind him and unstunned anything that wasn't a Deatheater. They made their way through the deep tunnels of this strange complex, the latest of Voldemort's hideouts. Fortunately for them, Voldemort was never seen at any of his hideouts. He stayed where he was, and they just wished they knew where that was. 

"Sirius, left!" James cried, and they swung a left down one of the corridors. The two of them just about fell down the steps in their hurry, but they quickly regained their footing at the bottom and kept on running.

At the end of the corridor they found the cells. In each of them, they knew, was a werewolf awaiting the moonrise in three nights' time. Each of them, being stored in such a way, was an innocent person, snatched from the streets.

Just like Remus.

James and Sirius started going door by door, peering in, asking names, seeking reactions, and unlocking the doors. The werewolves all fell from their cells, and some of them tried to make a run for it before James yelled out to stop them, and others grabbed their shoulders and held them there.

At last, Sirius found the cell he had been looking for.

"Name?" he called, peering at the huddled, shadowy figure in the corner.

"Moony," the voice said weakly.

Sirius gasped and wrenched the door open. Behind him he heard another of the werewolves speaking.

"He got it right-tough, that one," the woman said. Sirius caught, in the corner of his eye, another man nodding.

Sirius ran into the cell, allowing the wall to stop his momentum as he fell down beside Remus' crumbled form.

"Rem?" he whispered. "Moony?"

Remus looked up and he saw Sirius there, his form almost silhouetted against the golden light flowing from the corridor behind him. Remus smiled.

"You look like an angel," Remus whispered. Sirius nodded, fretting over Remus' torn clothes and ripped, bruised flesh.

"We have to get you out of here," Sirius whispered.

"You there!" called an angry voice. Sirius looked behind him and saw a Deatheater, fully masked, standing in the doorway. Behind him, James stood captive, a Deatheater's wand to his head. He frowned to say he was sorry, and Sirius swallowed. He glanced back at Remus' shaking form, the werewolf's eyes transfixed on the man in the doorway.

"He did it," Remus muttered to himself. "I know his voice."

Sirius growled and stood up and, quicker than was noticeable to any of the Deatheaters, sent a stunning spell at the man, which blew him across the hall. Within a second of that, Sirius was out the door, stunning and hexing every Deatheater that stood there, while they all glanced about nervously before becoming paralysed or unconscious.

Sirius turned about quickly, once James had regained control of the situation, and he picked up Remus' tiny body. As he was leaving the cell, he checked to see if the stunned Deatheater was still alive. He was, and so Sirius pulled off his mask, peering closely at his face.

"One day, I will look at the end of your life, and I will laugh," he said quietly, angrily, and yet with a calm that made the frozen Deatheater's eyes seem so much more scared.

Sirius stood up and carried his Remus away from it all, clutching him close.

* * *

Deatheaters. Nothing but Deatheaters night and day. He had been brought here with a vast number of them, all locked away without trial. He had watched their faces. Some of them were smug, in the full belief that they would be taken from here by their Dark Lord any day now. Others, who had heard the truth of the story, knew full well that they were here to stay. 

And now, Sirius heard their cries each night. Some of them still clung to their beliefs. 'He will rise again,' they said. They screamed it. While others just moaned, begging forgiveness and pleading innocence.

And all the while, Sirius was silent. He watched through the bars of his cell, watched as people went here and there. Occasionally, a body would be carried past, borne by two Dementors and held aloft by some magical charm. Sirius liked to speculate as to where they would be taken. Would they burn them? Or send them to loved ones who still might care that their treacherous creature had left this world? Or would they simply throw them in the ocean, and allow nature to claim that which had claimed nature?

Sirius watched each time a body was taken past. He shuddered at the agonised faces on some, and wondered at the peace that had found its way to the faces of others. And then, one day, he stopped and he stared.

A body was taken past, slowly as ever so that the other prisoners could see it and know their fate. Sirius peered closely at the face, and he knew it. For a moment he couldn't place it, but then he knew the face and remembered the words he had spoken to that man. A threat, a cruel threat but one that, in his youth, had seemed so perfect, snarling at that whimpering creature.

Yet, now, he looked at the body, a picture of all that was sad and pathetic, and he could not find the laughter he had once promised. He found nothing but an emptiness inside him, and he prayed, gods how he prayed, thatthe emptinesswould leave this dreadful place with that corpse. Burn it, send it away, or throw it to the sea.


	16. Harry

Harry  
cerasi

Please note:This one'sa little different.

* * *

"What do you all do in there?" Harry asked. Sirius looked at him and grinned.

"Top secret Order business, of course," he said. Harry scowled.

"What does that involve?" Harry asked, and accepted a cup of tea from Sirius, allowing it to warm his cold fingers.

"Matters that you must be overage to deal with," Sirius said, and he rested back in his chair.

Harry sighed and pulled a snitch out of his pocket. He opened his palm and waited for the thing to take flight, and then snatched it back into his hand before it could get too far. He let it go again, and snatched it back again. He let it go again, a little further this time.

Sirius watched calmly. He knew James' old tricks, and he saw them mirrored so much in Harry. And yet, this was Harry. There was something, some distinct element which Sirius could not place, that set Harry so far from his father.

"You're much better than we were," Sirius said. It was only when Harry looked up at him, shocked, that he realised he had said it aloud. Harry stared at him and waited, holding the snitch tight in his hand.

"Who?" Harry said.

"Everyone," Sirius smiled. "Come on, now. Let's go find something interesting to do. I'm nothing if not bored."

Harry stood up with a grin, and they both haphazardly tossed their tea cups in the sink, leaving them there for somebody else.

"Exploding snap?" Harry asked.

"Alright, but I warn you: I'm incredibly good at it," Sirius said.

"Cocky," Harry laughed, and they ran up the stairs, two at a time, nearly knocking over a rather shocked Remus,who thenreceived a quick kiss from Sirius as they kept on running.

* * *

"Where are you, Peter?" Sirius whispered maliciously.

He crept into the dorm room, peering about at the five four-poster beds in the room. Decisions, decisions.

He crept to the first and flinched as he saw a child who reminded him so much of a young Peter that it hurt. His face was all chubby and innocent, just like Peter's had once been. He prayed that this child would not face the same atrocities, nor make the same decisions, and his mind drifted off to Remus, whom he knew was somewhere in this huge castle, completely unaware,

He selected another bed and crept over to it. Nothing remarkable here, either. Just a sleeping boy, with posters magically clinging to the inside of his curtains, all depicting static muggle sporting teams.

Sirius chose another bed and pulled back the curtains, and his knees buckled under him and he dropped his wand and he fell, kneeling, to the floor.

He sat there, peering at the sleeping boy. His mind was lost in all sorts of memories and his breath was coming shallow, his heart beating fast.

Black hair, all massed and messy. Glasses on the bedside table, big and round like his father used to wear them. Sirius took a deep shuddering breath and reached out a hand, so gently, to touch the boy's face.

When he did, Sirius froze, for the boy's eyes cracked drowsily open and he mumbled something, looking at Sirius, before closing his eyes and rolling away. Green, so green. The eyes of his mother and the face of his father.

Sirius tore his own eyes away from his godson, sighing deeply and standing up. As he did, his eyes caught a flash of gold, and peered more closely at the boy's hand. There, resting gently in his grasp with its wings folded away, was a little golden snitch.

"Merlin," Sirius whispered, and he turned away.

* * *

Sirius walked back and forth in front of the clean-white door, rubbing a hand over his face every now and again. Each time he would stop, turn and walk back past the door, and Remus sat quietly in a chair, watching Sirius with a little trepidation.

Sirius stopped and he turned around, but before he could take another step he heard Remus quietly speaking.

"It'll be fine," Remus said.

"What if something goes wrong?" Sirius asked, his eyes pleading.

"Nothing will go wrong," Remus reassured him.

Sirius nodded but as he took a deep breath, Remus saw his body shake. His hands were plunged deep in his pockets, and yet they fidgeted. He wriggled his feet around and chewed on his lip. His hair was a mess, and that was quite possibly a first.

"Has it happened yet?" Peter called, rushing into the room all pink with hurry.

"No," Sirius whined. "We've heard nothing since they went in there. Nothing."

Just as he said this, the door cracked open and a nurse stuck her head out.

"The father said you might like to come in, now," she said.

Without answering, the three of them barged through the door and into the room, and there they all stopped and stared.

James sat in the chair beside the bed, and Lily lay allfrazzledon the bed, but smiling like they had never seen her smile before. In her hands, Sirius saw for the first time, was the tiniest little person he could ever have imagined. James stood up and Lily passed the baby over to him, and James nodded Sirius over.

"Hold him," James said. Sirius looked up shocked and then down to the tiny child that was being passed over to his hands.

"What- uh… name?" Sirius stuttered out.

"Harry," James whispered, and he placed the infant into Sirius' strong arms.

Sirius looked down and felt a rush of something incredible through his body. His heart beat heavily, and he found himself laughing gently.

"Harry," he said, and he smiled.

* * *

The End.

And I wish, at this point, to thank everyone so much for all that they've said and done for me. Each review I get makes me feel so damned happy (I really am a review whore!) and they make me want to write more, which I do, and then I get more people telling me that they like what I write which, really, is all I want to get out of life. So thank you, and I hope that this series, and my other writing (except Unexpected Happenings and Not Quite Dead!), has done as much for you as it has done for me.

Cheers

cd


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